Yesterday was a much anticipated visit to Chrystal Peaks Youth Ranch. My sweet Annie, with her sensitive heart, just loves horses. Everything about them. At home, Annie is clumsy, hyper and insecure, but at the ranch, she comes into her own. The horses love her, and she walks around like she owns the place. I am so blessed, as her mom, to see her thrive in a place where she feels so secure and at home. I hope she is able to spend many amazing hours at Chrystal Peaks as she grows into a woman. Love you Annie!

To Everything, There is a Season

It has been, I'm afraid to say, 3 years since I've written anything here. I just spent the last hour or so reading my old entries, and to some extent, gazing into the mommy brain haze of long ago. The last few years have been fraught with trials, growth, regression, anxiety, triumph and change. So, life I guess. As I sit in the quiet humidity of a warm, thunderstorm laden evening, I am wondering where the time went, and also, where I went. The last few years have been a blur of raising small children and fighting a host of personal demons. I have been humbled. I have cried many tears. I have felt oppression, sadness, loss and at times, joy. The hallmark of these past few years though has been the forceful hand of a loving Father humbling me and teaching me to walk what I have been so good at talking about. I am an anxious, paranoid, self-indulgent, weak, naive, lost and stupid child, most of the time. I really thought I had lots of answers. I have realized, again, that I only need one. Jesus. My thoughts are not lofty, my words are not pious. My SH*T is certainly not together. I know that I am a daughter of the King, that he gives me great worth, but it has been a very long time since I felt it. Please, Lord, revive me, soon. Remind me of who I am. Pick me up and use me again. I have been humbled and brought low, but I know the plans you have for me. In the mean time, while I wait for the King, I will try to be faithful in the little things you have for me. The doing of dishes, wiping of noses, changing of sheets, and losing of weight. The nothings that are the everything of life.

Annie is a yellow belt!! I'm so proud of her. It wasn't easy for her, but she pushed herself and stuck with it. Love you Annie. <3

It's been far too long since I've blogged. I suppose I've been profoundly distracted by Facebook, which is a poor, illegitimate substitute for the thoughts and feelings that can be conveyed via blog. Please allow me to introduce my sweet Iko. He is now 9 months old and is performing such amazing tricks as: waving, clapping, copying words and walking along the couch. He is a very active, loving, smiling, laughing ball of joy and we are so blessed to have him. It is my hope that I will be back to blog soon, unencumbered by other "social" distractions.